


Cellophane

by Omoni



Series: Abovetale [26]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphys/Undyne-centric, Depression, Established Alphys/Undyne, F/F, How Depression Affects Family, Living With Someone Depressed, Love Doesn't Cure Depression But It Makes It Easier To Bear, Major Depression, OC FishlizardCHILDREN, Real Life Into Fiction, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal actions, Suicide Attempts, mild violence, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 17:50:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9618554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omoni/pseuds/Omoni
Summary: When a sudden bout of depression attacks Alphys deeply, to the point of self-harm and suicidal desire, Undyne is faced with one of the biggest challenges of their married life - especially when it seems as if Alphys won't listen to reason, or no longer cares about it.Trigger warnings for:-Suicidal attempts-Self-harm-Candid descriptions of depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm and mutilation-Emotional depictions of how all of the above affect not only the one depressed, but everyone else involved with the person depressedAlso, the title is a reference to Sia's song of the same name. It's a good song to listen to while reading this, because it reflects a lot of this fic's themes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this. I poured my anger and my hurt and my sadness into this, and am posting it because I want to. I don't care if people hate it. I don't care if people read it. I think that's the lesson I learnt the most when it comes down to it: I don't care what anyone thinks, anymore, because I realise how little anyone even thinks of me, beyond what I can do for them. 
> 
> Yes, this is fiction. But a lot of it... is not. A lot of this happened. And a lot of this didn't. I'm not going to bother pointing out which is which, because it doesn't matter.
> 
> My only aim is that this perhaps helps other people in my situation.
> 
> A person can appear to have everything in the world, have everything they ever wanted, and even have what others want, too. But if your brain and your body are against you, it truly seems as if you have nothing left. 
> 
> That's what this fic is truly about. 
> 
> And I'm not sorry.

Once, just once, when Dandelion was four years old, still too young for school, she was surprised to wake up by herself. Usually, her mum would wake her up, coming into her room with a big smile and her arms out and open for a hug. Dandelion loved to wake up to that, loved throwing herself sleepilly into her mum's arms, and especially loved to be hugged and kissed with the usual, "Good morning, my Dandy!"

But this morning, she woke up by herself, and she woke up alone. And she didn't like it.

She slid out of bed, rubbed the gunk out of her sharp eyes, and frowned, then grabbed her favourite stuffie (a green dragon named Flamy) and held it to her chest for moral support, before she carefully left the bedroom. She felt as if she were doing something bad by leaving, but curiosity and the need for answers overrode this, and she tiptoed into the hallway.

She listened, her fan-shaped ears twitching, and she could hear, to her surprise, her mom's voice, sounding tense.

"--I know, Toriel. I _know._ You're telling me shit I already know. But she comes first, and you know that. You've _always_ known that, so why are you on my ass about this? If it's such a fucking problem, fire me. I don't fucking _care!"_

Dandelion blinked in shock; Undyne rarely ever used bad language, especially around her, so to hear her so casually bandy it - and to Toriel, whom she knew as a wonderful auntie - was shocking to her. Still quiet, Dandelion tiptoed down the hall and stood just outside of her mothers' room, listening harder.

And then she heard it: the sound of crying.

Dandelion felt her stomach clench, though for a moment she didn't understand why. She didn't cry too much, but when she did, she cried soft and with little words. What she was hearing was similar, only she instinctively felt that there was more than just tears being shed. Rather, there was deep pain in those cries, and she didn't like it. At all. Even before she was able to put it all together and figure out the source of those tears.

"She needs me, Toriel. She hasn't had an attack like this since... since..." Undyne's voice wavered, sending another icky feeling into Dandelion, and she clutched her dragon closer, her sharp teeth sinking into her lip. "It's serious, okay? Have sans or Papyrus cover for me."

There was a pause, filled only by the sound of weeping, then Undyne said, her voice softer, "That's why I need the day off. To make sure it doesn't. Okay?"

Another pause. Then, Undyne's voice lowered even more, wavering as she spoke. "Toriel, I caught her with a _knife,_ okay?!"

Dandelion didn't understand that, and didn't understand why it made her mom's voice choke up so badly, but it was enough to make her feel sick, anyway. She clutched her dragon tight, her claws digging in a little, but she made sure not to rip her precious friend; she'd learned that lesson very young.

"I will. Thank you. Yes. I promise. Thank you."

There was a small electrical beep, and then a soft thud, followed by, to Dandelion's shock, Alphys suddenly saying, "D-don't, j-just g-go, take D-Dandy and g-go--,"

"Shut up, right now, Alphys," Undyne snapped, further surprising their youngest daughter. "I'm not leaving you alone, not now, not _ever."_

Dandelion couldn't take it anymore. She was scared, now, and her default was always to go to Alphys when scared. So she pushed the door open and went in, shaking a little.

Alphys was curled up in Undyne's lap, her face hidden in her arms, her hands digging into Undyne's thigh and shaking. She wasn't dressed, only wearing her bathrobe, and even then it seemed to be only as an afterthought. She was sobbing, a sound Dandelion had never heard before but instinctively knew, and Undyne was leaning down over Alphys and wrapping her arms around her, kissing her head every so often and rubbing her back slowly, her own hands shaking.

When Dandelion came in, Undyne jumped and raised her head, her eye going right to her daughter's, and she looked both sad and shocked.

"Dandelion, honey, you're awake?" she murmured, as Dandelion slowly crept in, her shoulders up in both fear and dread. She nodded, her long hair getting into her face, but she didn't push it away.

"Mommy," she whispered, reaching out once she got to Undyne's side and touching Alphys's hand lightly, startling her. "Wh-what's wrong?"

"Dandy," Alphys sobbed, her voice muffled by Undyne's thigh. "Oh, god..." She tried to add more, but her sobs choked off her words, and she cried.

"Yes, Alphy," Undyne said, though her voice was sharp. "Dandelion. Our _daughter._ Remember?"

"Mummy," Dandelion said to Alphys, rubbing her hand carefully. "Do you need a hug, Mummy? Are you sick?"

Undyne smiled faintly at her, holding her arm out, and Dandelion moved close and under it, so that Undyne could hug her tight while she kept her small hand on her mum's.

Alphys then raised her head, and Dandelion stared at her, fear making her heart race. Alphys looked awful; her face was red and streaked with tears, her eyelids swollen and her eyes bright and full. Her lips quivered constantly, and her teeth kept biting down on her lips so many times they were starting to chap. She looked scared and in agony.

"Mummy?" Dandelion whispered, feeling tears well up into her eyes.

Alphys reached out and touched her cheek with trembling fingers, the cuticles around her claws chewed and bloody. "Dandy, my baby," she whispered, her eyes closing. "Oh, god."

Undyne closed her eye for a moment, then grabbed her phone up again and made a call. "Hey, Peridot, it's me. Are you working today?" She paused, her other hand absently rubbing the back of Alphys's neck.

Dandelion moved closer to her mum, so that she could hug her arm, and Alphys's face crumpled before she buried it away, again, she shoulders shaking.

"Can you come and take Lioness for the day? I need you to take care of her while I take care of Alphy." A pause. "She's having another bad attack, and I don't want Dandelion to have to see it all, in case it gets worse." Another pause, and Undyne suddenly looked relieved. "Thank you, Bassy. See you soon."

Dandelion looked at Undyne curiously, now, and her mom tried to smile. "How would you like to spend today with your big sister, Lioness?"

She considered; she loved Basket, loved how, no matter their age gap, she always treated Dandelion with respect and never spoke down to her. She didn't see her as often as they'd both liked, but Basket always did her best to make up for the time lost when they did.

"But... Mummy..." She rubbed Alphys's hand again. "What's wrong with Mummy?"

"That's not something you need to worry about right now, okay, baby?" Undyne answered gently, reaching forward and cupping Dandelion's face between her strong hands. "So what do you say?"

"Okay," she agreed. "I'd love to see Bassy."

"That's my Lioness," Undyne smiled, then hugged her tight, and Dandelion could feel her shaking. "Bassy will be here, soon. Why don't you grab some clothes, whatever you want to wear, and I'll help you get dressed?"

"I can dress myself, Mommy!" Dandelion insisted, for the moment able to forget the sadness around her in her indignation.

"Alright, then go get dressed! And come back and show me what a good job you've done, okay?" Undyne smiled at her, and she nodded and ran down the hall, her excitement at seeing Basket allowing her mind to focus on that and nothing else.

Undyne envied her that.

She had woken up to find herself alone in the bed she shared with Alphys, one she'd shared for so long that it was like a second home. She woke up slowly, listening, pretty sure that Alphys had just gotten up to pee, though it was still dark out.

Then she heard the sound of a choked-off sob, and she got to her feet and ran to the bathroom, fear and instinct driving her forward.

The door had been locked, but Undyne snapped it open it a few tries, and found Alphys on the floor, sobbing quietly and holding that damned knife to her left wrist, trying to open her veins through her tough skin. Already, a thread of blood had trickled from her wrist to the floor, and the expression of sick satisfaction on Alphys's face cracked Undyne's heart.

She lunged forward, scaring Alphys, but not enough for her to stop, nor to keep her from fighting her wife, holding the knife tight and trying to get away from Undyne, all in eerie silence. Undyne was shocked by her strength, but then, she'd never had to fight Alphys with determination, before.

It had taken a while, but Undyne managed to pin her to the bathroom floor and slam her hand onto it, hard enough that the pain made her involuntarily let go, and Undyne grabbed it and flung it into the bathtub, hard. Alphys lay there, her teeth gritted but her body limp, and she shut her eyes, as though to do so would make everything disappear.

"Alphys," Undyne hissed, her voice breaking, though she wanted to scream; she only didn't because of Dandelion. _"What the fuck are you doing?!"_

Alphys shook her head, starting to cry, but she remained silent. She remained that way for a moment, until she suddenly started to fight again, trying to break free from under Undyne and reach for the knife, a small cry of desperation pulling from her throat. Undyne then used her full strength, and she stopped again, freezing up and just lying there, as though stuck.

Silently, Undyne had pulled her up and into her arms, carrying her out of the bathroom and back to their bed, where she lay Alphys down and grabbed a roll of gauze, wrapping the cut on her wrist. Alphys began to cry again, and once the wound was covered, Undyne pulled her into her lap, and Alphys started to sob.

Now, Undyne leaned down and rested her head on Alphys's shaking one, holding onto her tight and struggling to stay calm. She had to stay calm. She couldn't lose her composure, not yet, not when Alphys needed her to be strong.

But it was so, so difficult. And it hurt like hell.

Alphys hadn't had an attack like this since before Dandelion was born. She'd had moments of sadness, nightmares of the shooting, especially, but never suicidal or self-harming. To have this happen so suddenly, and out of what seemed like nowhere, scared Undyne to her soul. She trembled, just as her wife trembled, and desperately wished she had the answers.

Dandelion returned with a tentative smile and mismatched socks, but the rest of her clothes were fine, and Undyne was proud of her. She smiled in return, noticing that she still held her dragon to her chest tight. Undyne wondered if her Lioness had found a way to dress while still holding it.

"You look great, Lioness," Undyne told her, one hand still on Alphys, the other reaching out to smooth some of Dandelion's hair behind her ear.

"Thank you, Mommy," she replied with a small blush, before glancing at Alphys again, whose face was now hidden completely.

Undyne opened her mouth to add to it, but heard the front door open, followed by, "Hello! It's me! Looking for my favourite sister!"

Dandelion lit up and ran, all the way down the hall and into the open arms of her big sister. Basket scooped her up and twirled her in the air, making her shriek and laugh - sounds that were a balm to Undyne.

"Alphy, stay here, okay?" Undyne whispered, before carefully pulling away and lying Alphys down onto their bed. Alphys didn't react or move, which worried her, but she figured that she would be okay for a moment, so she went to the front door.

The moment Basket saw her mom, her eyes darkened and her smile faded. She held Dandelion to her hip, but one hand reached out and grabbed Undyne's.

"Bad?" she murmured.

"Very," Undyne agreed.

Dandelion's sharp eyes flicked between them both, but she stayed quiet, not understanding but hoping her silence would help get her there.

"Okay," Basket said. "Keep me posted. Olly and I will keep her safe, okay?"

Undyne nodded and gave them both kisses, then saw them out.

With a deep sigh, she closed the door behind them, then went back to the bedroom, her heart aching.

But Alphys wasn't there.

Undyne's heart stopped, her eye raking over the room, before she threw herself back to the bathroom, finding it locked, again. Undyne ripped the handle off, this time, throwing it down, before using her shoulder to open the door and go in.

Alphys was hunched over the sink, the gauze ripped off and her wrist gushing blood, her claws digging into the cut to make it worse, and she had immersed it in a filling pool in the sink. The water was slowly turning red, and her eyes stared at it, that satisfied smile back on her face, even as she cried.

Undyne grabbed her and yanked her back, and she screamed, the sound so loud and agonised that it shocked Undyne into letting go. She turned and shoved Undyne back, trying to get her out of the room, before she went back to the sink and submerged her wrist again, her other hand on the edge of the sink in order to keep herself in place.

 _"No,"_ Undyne snarled, lunging back and wrapping her arms around Alphys's waist with all of her strength, so hard that Alphys coughed, her breath squeezed out from her. She staggered, and Undyne dragged her back so hard that Alphys's claws left marks on the sink, but she did let go.

Alphys screamed again, her hands scrabbling to grab back onto the sink, but Undyne was simply stronger than her, she always would be, even with Alphys's determination at full blast. She fought hard, bucking and kicking, scratching not at Undyne, but her own clothes, ripping them as though to do so would bring her free, but Undyne wouldn't let go.

They both fell into their bed together, and Alphys again tried to break free, but Undyne grabbed her, flipped her over, and pinned her down, straddling her and practically sitting on her while pinning her arms down. Alphys lashed out with both her legs and her tail, but when that did nothing, she gave up, instead trying to free her hands.

"Let go! _Let go!"_ Alphys screamed, then, her eyes shutting and tears streaming down her face. "Let me go! _Let me fucking go, Undyne!"_

"No!" Undyne shouted back, having to use her full strength again to keep her wife in one place. "Stop this! Stop it, right now, Alphys! For fuck's sake, what's gotten into you?!"

"Let me go, please!" Alphys answered, her voice cracking. "You don't need me, Dandy doesn't need me, Bassy doesn't need me! _Let me go!"_

 _"Alphys!"_ Undyne answered, moving down and looking right into her eyes, inches away and searching them desperately, seeing so much pain and desperation, there, emotions that just hadn't been there the night before. "You need to tell me what happened, Alphy! I need to understand why you suddenly want to die!"

Alphys made a long, drawn out keen of pain, then, her back arching as though trying to buck Undyne off of her. Her hands clenched hard, and she cried out, her voice breaking, _"I was supposed to die at the abyss, Undyne!"_

Undyne froze at that, her eye going wide, pain striking her heart. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Alphys then seemed to give up, her body just deflating beneath her as though her bones had dissolved. She went limp, and she started to sob, tears now staining the bed along with the blood from her wrist. She couldn't speak, now, the pain choking her so much that she could barely breathe. Every breath was a gasp, a sob, and it brought deep, horrible knives of it, sharper than the one she'd used on her wrist, lancing into her heart.

Carefully, Undyne let go of Alphys's wrists, and Alphys didn't even move, like she'd expected. When Undyne touched her cheek, she flinched and turned away and out of her reach. Undeterred, Undyne touched her other cheek, and she felt Alphys stiffen, but this time she didn't move away.

"Sweetie," Undyne whispered, rubbing Alphys's cheek slowly, brushing the tears away, her other hand touching between her breasts and over her heart; it beat frantically, so fast that it worried her. "I... I need to hear what's wrong, so I can help you. Please, I want to help you."

Alphys struggled to form words, trying to breathe normally, so that she could tell Undyne not to bother, that she was useless and a waste of space, that no one should care about her because the world would go on without her, and always would, so it would be best if she just died to get it over with and give it a head-start. That's what she wanted to say. But the only thing she got out was, "Hate..."

Undyne felt her stomach clench. Somehow, she knew exactly what Alphys meant when she said that, and she leaned down and hugged onto her, holding her close and resting her cheek against Alphys's wet one, her eye closed. Alphys lay limp in her arms, though her tears increased, as though being held only increased that pain she felt.

"Alphy," Undyne said softly, one hand rubbing her back slowly. "Please, don't hate yourself. You've gotten through so much, and you've won. You have a family who loves you, two beautiful daughters who adore you, and a wife who would do anything for you. You have friends who are also your family, who love you dearly, who would miss you so much if anything happened to you. Your actions have helped so many people, have achieved amazing strides in monster medicine, and you've already saved so many lives by putting your own at risk for it. You have so much to live for, my love. I don't understand why you still want to die..."

"No," Alphys answered, her voice thick. "You don't."

Undyne bit her lip, the words hurting more than she thought they could. She hadn't expected that answer, not at all. She'd expected Alphys to cling to her, to realise that Undyne was right, and to start to go forward towards healing, again. She was not expecting that.

"Then, tell me, Alphy," she pleaded. "Tell me, so I can understand. Tell me, so I can help you. I want to help you."

Alphys was silent, for so long that Undyne wondered if she was going to be ignored, or overlooked. She looked down, and saw that Alphys was already looking at her, her eyes focused and full of tears, but dark.

"You-you're right," she finally said. "I-I have everything. I have everything in the world. I h-have everything I've always wanted. And yet, sometimes, I f-feel like I stole those things, like I stole those wonderful things from someone else's life, and I'm nothing but a dirty thief, a rotten liar, and a cheat."

"Alphy--,"

"I haven't earned any of this," she went on, her voice oddly flat. "I haven't done anything to deserve any of this, any of you. Especially you, Undyne. All I ever did was lie to you, hide things from you, and hurt you. You deserve someone who is honest, and loving, who would never hurt you."

"But, Alphy--,"

"I'm usually able to push past this," Alphys went on, her eyes still on Undyne's. "I've gotten better the older I've gotten. But this morning, I woke up and realised, 'I'm a fraud, and I need to die.' I wanted to be gone before you woke up, so that you wouldn't have to deal with this, my emotions and my manipulations and all of that. But you caught me. You caught me..." She gritted her teeth and looked away, turning her head away as well.

"Yeah," Undyne said, when she was sure Alphys was done. "I caught you. I caught you at the abyss, and I caught you now. I'm not gonna stop catching you, Alphy. Never."

"Stop," Alphys begged, her voice cracking out of that flat one, finally.

"Just like Asgore caught you. Just like Mettaton caught you. Just like Frisk caught you, too."

"Undyne, please..."

"Please, what, Alphy?" Undyne wondered, reaching up again to touch her cheek softly. "Stop telling you the truth?"

"Please, just... j-just... let me go..."

"No," Undyne snapped. _"Never._ Would you let me go, if things were reversed?"

"You're too strong to... to act this way..."

"Answer me."

Alphys bit her lip, then closed her eyes. "N-no. Of course not." Her voice was tiny, so small that if Undyne had worse hearing, she probably wouldn't of heard it.

"Then why the hell would you expect me to?" Undyne demanded. When Alphys opened her mouth to answer, Undyne caught her off. "No, I actually don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear what kind of reasoning you come up with, because I know it's not gonna be right."

Alphys bit her lip, pressed her lips together, and kept her eyes shut.

"For now, let's wrap that wrist up again, before you bleed everywhere, okay?" Undyne continued, carefully moving off of her wife and getting to her feet. As she walked to the bathroom, she kept her senses sharp, but Alphys didn't move, and she was relieved by that.

In silence, Undyne cleaned the gashes Alphys had made on her own wrist, her stomach clenching the more she saw just how much damage was done. Alphys kept her face averted, though she cried silently, sometimes hiccuping from trying to keep them in, but without success. Undyne leaned down and kissed the skin gently above the wounds, and Alphys was unable to keep herself from sobbing aloud at that, her hands clenching again. Undyne then covered her wrist with antibiotic gel and wrapped it with fresh gauze, taping it securely, before giving her hand a pat and placing it gently back on the bed. Alphys shut her eyes, sniffling with every other breath, and Undyne felt her heart ache.

"Okay, sweetie," Undyne then said, moving onto the bed so that she could lie down beside Alphys and take her injured hand between her own. "Tell me what set this off."

Alphys kept her face turned away, but she murmured, "Thinking. Couldn't-couldn't sleep. I tried to, b-but I couldn't. All I could th-think about was... why do I f-feel so horrible? W-why do I feel so sad, so mis-miserable? I-I have everything... ev-everything I've e-ever dreamt of... my-my wildest dreams... I-I have it all..." Her face crumpled. "Why do I h-hate myself, Undyne?!" She sobbed a little. "Everything you-you said is tr-true! I have friends, a family, a career! So why... why isn't it enough?!"

Undyne moved closer to her, so that her cheek rested against the back of Alphys's head. "Alphy, it's not your fault. You're... you're sick, sweetie. You have been for a while."

Alphys snorted. "I-I'm not sick. I'm just broken, and it's my fault, because it's all in m-my stupid head."

Undyne thought for a moment. "Alphy, would you say that someone with cancer is broken? And that it's all in their head?"

Alphys turned to her, looking shocked. "Wh-why would you--? Of course I wouldn't! They-they're sick, it's not their fault, it's... it's..." Her eyes looked away, then shut, before she bit her lip hard.

"Right," Undyne agreed softly. "You wouldn't blame a cancer patient for having cancer, or for it being all in their head. It's an illness."

"Being-being like this _is_ in my head," Alphys answered. "It's literally in my head."

"But that doesn't make it any less of an illness, Alphy. And one you can't control." Undyne closed her eye and moved closer, holding Alphys tight. "I've seen you fight this, for decades, now, Alphy, and I know you're trying. I know how hard you're trying. But it's not gonna just go away, because it's a _chronic_ illness."

"I hate it," Alphys answered, her voice suddenly tiny with sobs. "I hate it so much. I want it to go away. I want it to stop. I want to just l-love what I have and be normal."

"I know, sweetie, and you're trying really hard. I can see it," Undyne agreed. "But it's not gonna go away. You're a doctor; you know that. It's gonna be there for the rest of your life."

Alphys sniffled, too choked up to reply to that. She was glad that Undyne was being honest with her, glad that Undyne was being _patient_ with her, and that she understood. Now that her frantic haze had faded, all she could feel was shame, but Undyne wasn't moving away, nor was she disgusted with her. Rather, she was staying close, holding her close, and that meant a lot.

"Alphy, guess what?" When Alphys nodded, Undyne went on. "You're gonna be depressed for the rest of your life, sweetie - it's true. But I'm also gonna be here, too. I'm not going anywhere. You couldn't make me even if you tried, and you _have_ tried. And have I left you? Never. I seem to recall not even leaving you when you jumped into the abyss." She smiled, but Alphys kept her eyes closed and winced. "That was supposed to be a joke, love."

"No less true, though," Alphys whispered.

"Okay, fair enough. But we love you, Alphy. I, especially, love you so much," Undyne nuzzled her gently. "That love isn't gonna just vanish one day. It's not gonna change, except maybe ferment into something richer, and it's definitely not gonna suddenly change into resentment." Alphys made a soft sound at that; it was exactly what she was afraid of. "I knew you were like this when we started going out. Hell, I knew before we did. And it didn't stop me. And it never will."

Finally, Alphys turned around and hugged onto Undyne tight, burying her face into her chest. She started sobbing, hard, her claws digging into her wife's back, but Undyne didn't so much as blink. Instead, she held her tight, feeling her own tears bubble up within her, and she let them fall, listening to Alphys cry in both agony and relief.

* * *

One of Dandelion's favourite things in the world was to tease Olceal. She loved how he looked like a fuzzy little pet, loved to pull on his cheeks, and especially loved to tickle him. He was the best brother she could ever ask for, and loved it especially when Basket joined in on the fun, tickling him and showing Dandelion the best spots in order to make him laugh in a high-pitched voice to tears.

This was the first thing she did upon arriving at Basket's, attacking Olceal and flooring him with her tickles, until he screamed out, "Mercy! Mercy! Aaaaugh!" and started laugh-crying. With a cry of success, Dandelion jumped off of him and left him in a curled up puddle on the floor, all while Basket laughed so hard she had to lean against the doorway to stay standing.

"Always glad to have you here, Dandy," Basket managed to say at last, giving her a pat on her head - then froze, her fingers trailing though her sister's knotted hair. "Huh. Would you like me to brush your hair, kiddo?" When Dandelion nodded, Basket took her hand - the one not holding her dragon - and led her to the washroom, leaving Olceal to wheeze his breath back for a while.

As Basket gently brushed her sister's very long hair (it was halfway down her back, now, and any time someone suggested she cut it, she snarled and bared her sharp teeth), Dandelion looked sombre, and Basket noticed. "What is it, hon?" she wondered.

"Well," Dandelion said softly, holding Flamy tighter to her chest. "This morning... Mummy didn't come and get me. And when I went to find her, she and Mommy were crying, and Mommy was swearing at Auntie Toriel."

Basket's hands paused before they continued, and in the mirror, Dandelion saw her expression fall a little. "Well," Basket said softly. "That's be-because Mummy was sick."

"Sick? Like the flu?"

Basket shook her head. "No, not really. More like..." She hesitated. "More like something up here." She poked Dandelion's head, making her smile. "Something up here is sick, and sometimes it makes Mummy sick, so she cries, because it hurts."

Dandelion thought about this for a moment, trying to understand. "So it's like a flu in her brains?"

Basket considered. "Kinda, yeah," she agreed. "Want me to braid your hair?" When Dandelion nodded with a smile, Basket returned it and started to do so. "Only she doesn't throw up or cough, but she gets sad and cries a lot and doesn't want to be touched a lot."

"Oh," Dandelion said, chewing on her lip as she thought some more. "But it doesn't last, right?"

"Right," Basket agreed. "And it doesn't happen very often, though when it does, it hurts a lot, and it shows. But it's not Mummy's fault, okay?"

"It's not?" Dandelion asked. "But she's always telling me we are our brains. So why can't she control it?"

Basket paused again, thinking hard. Her eyes looked dark, her own memories of the few times Alphys had lapsed into that dark place in her childhood bubbling up within her. She remembered feeling scared and helpless, desperate to help Alphys and make her smile, to make her tears stop. Undyne always told her that it was okay, that Alphys needed to cry and be angry in order to get that pain out and thus be free of it. But it still scared and upset her.

"Mom once told me," Basket said now, "that Mummy needed to cry that way in order to get the icky feelings out, like when you do when you're sick and throw up. You know how, when you throw up, even though it's gross, you do feel better after?"

Dandelion made a face but nodded.

"That's how Mummy's brain handles it. It's not our fault. It's not her fault. It just is the way it is. Sometimes, Mummy gets sick, and needs to throw up all of that gross stuff with her tears." Basket tied the long braid, then patted her sister's back gently. "Does that make sense, baby?"

Dandelion nodded again. "Yeah," she agreed. "But I don't... I don't like it, Bassy. I want her to be happy."

Olceal suddenly appeared in the doorway, his face serious, now. "Hey, can I... can I add something?" he wondered. Basket nodded and smiled up at him. "My mom, she worries a lot about me. I'm an only child, and my dad died when I was really small. Sometimes..." He sighed, his eyes lowering. "Sometimes, she would get sad, and sit in his old chair and just cry quietly. I remember I would always try to help her, but all she would do - could do - was just tell me it was okay. Eventually, I learnt that the best thing I could do was curl up in her lap and cuddle with her as she cried." He blushed a little, the colour showing through his fur. "And later, she'd always say, 'Thank you. That's what I needed.'"

Dandelion listened to his every word, her sharp eyes keen and focused, and she nodded seriously. "Okay. That sounds nice, Olly," she agreed. "I like cuddling with Mummy."

Basket picked Dandelion up and hugged her close. "I'm sure she'd love it, too."

* * *

 For a long time, Undyne held Alphys close, not saying a word as she wept. Even when she gradually calmed down and sniffled, hiccuping a little again, Undyne didn't let her go. Alphys didn't let go, either; she didn't want to. There were no words left to be said, because not only did Undyne already know them, Alphys also knew she did, too. They'd been married for over thirty years by then; sometimes, words were pointless when you could read everything already in your partner's actions and expressions.

She didn't know how long it had been, but soon, Alphys pulled away from Undyne, just a little, to look up at her and into her eye, her own swollen and bloodshot. With shaky hands, she reached up and touched Undyne's face lightly, her teeth sunk into her bottom lip hard. Undyne closed her eye for a moment, leaning into her wife's touch and sighing deeply, and Alphys leaned her head forward and pressed her forehead to Undyne's, closing her eyes again. Undyne reached up and gently stroked the top of her head, running her fingers lightly over the ridges and spines slowly, and Alphys could feel her heart slowly start to scab over.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart?" Undyne whispered. Alphys nodded, just a little, and Undyne opened her eye and smiled faintly. "That's good. What would you like? Some junk food?" Alphys repeated the gesture, a tiny smile curling around her trembling lips. "Okay." Undyne sat up, grabbed her phone, and made a call. Alphys remained curled up in a ball, her eyes closed and her face buried in her knees, breathing slowly but feeling soothingly calm.

For the rest of the day, they spent it in their bed, eating Alphys's favourite comfort foods while talking it all out. Alphys still had much to say, much to purge from her system, and sometimes had to stop in mid-bite in order to say them around her tears. Undyne listened, she always listened, and always offered both physical and emotional support whenever either was needed. Only once did Alphys fall back down and wish she hadn't woken Undyne, but it was only once, and Undyne brought her back out of it with both firm words and gentle action.

When Undyne was sure that the crisis was over, she called Basket and told her to bring Dandelion home.

"Undyne," Alphys murmured, looking down at her bandaged wrist. "H-how do I explain this to Dandy? How c-can I?"

Undyne took her hand and rubbed it gently. "Lioness is a kid, yes, but she's not stupid. I'm sure by now she's asked Basket what's going on, and knowing Peridot, she's managed to explain it in a way that she can both understand and accept. Remember, she went through it, too."

Alphys blushed in shame, but nodded. Undyne pulled her close and hugged her, and she fell into it, closing her eyes and taking comfort from that strength so freely offered to her.

They were still embracing when they heard the front door open and their daughters come in, calling for both of them. Alphys looked up at Undyne, who smiled, and managed to return it. With a shared nod, they stood up and, holding hands, went to greet them.

**\--THE END--**


End file.
